What kind of idiots does the media take us for? Saddam doesn't have a beard. He can't even grow facial hair. The moustache was a gift from Sy Sperling, president (and client!) of the Hair Club for Men. No. The man in the above photograph is clearly ol' man Castro, and he hasn't been caught either, just photographed. Ooh, they took Castro's picture, isn't that scary? Beware the American proparazzi, or whatever the hell you call them. They shoot an old Cuban man with a Camera, we shoot their young soldiers with guns and flaming balls of tar and Volkswagens full of dogpoo. Like I said, we're bastards like that.
No, Saddam Hussein was not captured. He was actually at home in one of his Baghdad-area palaces when the purported capture took place, watching Schindler's Fist, which, as far as porno spoof movies go, is actually pretty good.
Sometimes I miss America. As far as countries we have conquered go, they had the best sense of humor. And the best pizza.