Information Minister of the Republic of Iraq (mohammedalsahaf) wrote,
Information Minister of the Republic of Iraq

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Honey, I'm home?

Alright. I've spent the past ten weeks helping to run a summer camp for aspiring information ministry personnel from all over the world. The staff were mainly all "axis of evil" (We call ourselves "The Superfantastical Dudes") guys, with some al-Qaeda, Hamas, and some wierd African dudes thrown in. I roomed with bin Laden's PR guy. Did you know Osama uses tanning cream to make himself look "more ethnic?" He thinks the Indonesians and Filipinos will take him seriouser if her looks more like them. He also colors his beard.

Anyway. I got home this past weekend and my wife greets me at the door in the most bizarre way imaginable. Have you ever seen the Hot Shots movies? I forget which one it was, but there's a scene where Charlie Sheen tells a woman that he's going to kiss her like she's never been kissed before, then proceeds to put his mouth over her entire nose and exhale, forcing a blast of air into her throat and making her make some wierd noise. Well, that's exactly how my wife greeted me. Ten weeks of not seeing her, and she goes out of her way to ruin the moment. Yeah hummus-buns, real romantic. I think she might be cheating on me. Ugh. This sucks.

I was watching TV the other day, and saw that the Japanese Prime Minister was in Prague on some state visit. Among his official posse was a little robot, who presented the Czech president with some gifts and he even gave a little speech. When I was studying journalism at Basra University, I had this recurring nightmare that no matter what job I had, I'd be replaced by a robot. Thanks to the Japanese, I am now having those nightmares again. At least I'm not wetting the bed anymore.

Oh, though my wife's greeting was less than satisfactory, Saddam delivered the goods. There was a fruit basket waiting on my kitchen table from him with a really nice homemade card (there is just something so damn sweet about a grown man using dry macaroni and glitter to jazz up a card) welcoming me back. I've got one of the coolest bosses ever.

I have like 800 e-mails to catch up on, and that's after deleting all the porno spam. Well, most of it. ;-)

Allahu Akbar,

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